What would you do

I'm going to take a brief moment to comment on something I read yesterday while on break at Lowe's. They have a company newsletter/magazine that has a section called "What would YOU do?" that basically lists a real-life situation that occured, and how it was handled. All well and good in theory, but real life rarely functions as well as postulated in print.

This month's letter was from a disgruntled customer who explained that he was building his dream house. A $650k dream house no less, because telling people how much your house costs is a good way to win them over. The rambler goes on to say how he had Lowes custom-manufacture cabinetry for his kitchen. A very large and expensive kitchen, I'm sure. He even had a little cabinet opening for his wine refridgerator that he also bought at Lowes. He bought the wine fridge for his $650k home, he'll tell you. Well, imagine his shock and dismay when he gets into his dream kitchen in his dream home and reads the dream instructions of his dream wine refridgerator, and it says it's for free-standing use only; not for dream cabinetry! Lowe's sucks, etc etc etc, how could your employees mislead me, blah blah blah, going to shop at the competition from now on, yadda yadda yadda.

The article goes on to explain how the big boss man took it upon himself to hire contractors to redo the cabinetry to accomodate his wine fridge, and thus to keep a "loyal" customer. See, Lowe's believes that over the course of a lifetime, that an average Lowe's shopper spends every waking moment wanting to shop at their store. And when not shopping in their store, they're dreaming about shopping in their store. And that they spend ten kajillion dollars over that lifetime in their store, so every customer is important for repeat business.

Bullshit.

Let me show you the letter I'd right back to Mr. Winecooler.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am sorry to hear that you will be shopping at the "competition", however, I can guarantee that their minimum wage employees will be just as comparable as ours. Did you really expect someone making less than $8 an hour to really know every single aspect about a wine refridgerator, you bloated self-indulgant prick? If you can afford a $650k home, and a multiple-thousand dollar kitchen, wouldn't you do your research on the refridgerators as well? That piece of shit fridge costs $124. $124! Did that really set your pocketbook back? I don't think so. So you know what, sorry about your "loss", but I fully encourage you to shop at competition and see if your luck improves, you rich arrogant fuck.

Signed,

Big boss man.


Word.